The New Normal

My baby was sick today with an ear infection and a high fever. He took a nap today and counting that nap, that gives us a total of two naps he has taken since his second birthday. We spent the day in bed and had ice cream for lunch. At one point, he curled up and asked me to rub his head and then he finally fell asleep. Holding my head. The smell of his sweet head in my nose. These days of snuggles and cuddles won’t always happen so I’m taking advantage. Today reminded me of another day, a day when I was sick with an ear infection. I might have been around 6, older than Leo but no stranger to an ear infection, I was chronically afflicted. My “parents” had made plans to go to the neighbors with the other parents and kids in the neighborhood and my sickness wasn’t going to stop that. I remember all of us kids playing in the basement and I felt terrible. I went upstairs to report feeling awful, there may have been tears. I was told to go and lay on the couch and we would leave soon. I went and laid down, Psycho II or III was on, I was terrified but too sick to change the channel so I just shut my eyes. I heard a small voice and felt a hand on my cheek. One of the neighbor ladies who would be influential in my growing up, was there. Joann offered a cool hand, a heating pad for my ear, and a simple hug and some love for me. This has remained one of the kindest gestures I have ever experienced in my life. I was a child who was sick and scared and needed someone to help me feel safe. My parents weren’t going to do it but Joann was because there is no such thing as other people’s children. I’m telling this story because it means so much to me (And I still adore Jo to this day), because I think kindness should be shared, and because this is my normal. It never occurred to me that I would not comfort my sick child. Every day I get another sign that the cycle has been broken. That my son will not know a day when he doesn’t know he is loved and safe with his parents. I’m also telling this story because I haven’t been very kind to my hometown as of late (y’all piss me off with that voting) but this is the kind of thing I loved about our neighborhood growing up. I knew Denise would have a hug and pizza, Karen would offer lemonade, Cindy had that great big laugh and the best brownies on the planet, Mike would offer us a beatin’, and Jo would have a heating pad and some comfort. The best part about that small town is that when I’m there, Mike still offers me a beatin’ and the ladies still act like we’re little kids and we all love it. Now, they do it for our babies and that’s the kind of thing we need to make the new normal.