Highs and Lows

Parenting is full of highs and lows and autism parenting is especially full of highs and lows. We have had our share of both in the last few weeks. After spending almost a year fighting constant ear infections, Leo had tubes placed in his ears last Tuesday. His pre-procedure hearing test showed moderate hearing loss due to fluid in his ears and his post-procedure hearing test showed normal hearing function. Leo began to experiment with his voice almost immediately following the procedure and just today said the words green and plane. When you have a kid who has been labeled non-verbal, these are the days you wait for. Hearing his little voice is one of the greatest joys in our life.

People have often asked me "what is the first thing you recommend after your child gets an autism diagnosis?" My answer never changes, "get yourself a good therapist, get yourself a good marriage therapist (if you're married or coupled) and find out who your village is." Your village is those people that you can call any time of day or night and they show up. Maybe they show up with coffee and maybe they show up with whiskey. I've been going through some personal struggles as of late and my village has shown up in force. I am especially grateful to my wife, my therapist (even though I don't always love her because she makes me think all the hard thoughts), my dear friends Ann, Kelly, Sara, and Amy for making me laugh and loving me even when I'm unlovable, and of course my precious Leo for being the brightest spot in my life.

Finally, the biggest low this week is of course another mass shooting in the United States. This time in a church where children and families were worshipping God. I read an article that said preschoolers are being taught to hide and be quiet in situations where there is an active shooter. I wondered, how do I explain to my nonverbal, three year old that loves everyone that school and church and all the places he loves may not be safe? How do I teach him to hide and be quiet to avoid detection in the case of an active shooter? How do I explain any of this to him when I don't even understand it myself?

Parenting is hard, thankfully the pain and the worry is all worth it when you feel those little arms around your neck. I don't have all the answers and I'm working on telling myself that's ok. I do know that I have an amazing kid who changes lives and brightens rooms everywhere he goes and today that feels like a win.